“If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten, and that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.”
“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
What do you do for yourself that makes you feel most alive? When does your excitement for something shine so brightly that those around you can feel it? When is the last time you remember feeling passionately engaged with a creative project, a piece of music, or even a meal? Working in holistic healthcare, I think about this a lot. When I reflect on what it means to help someone work toward their health goals, this is always in the back of mind. What is the point of striving for health if not to achieve some level of joie de vivre, a joy for living?
In order to thrive we must be connected to ourselves. These days, with the stressors of modern life and constant demands on our attention, sustaining a healthy level of self-connection is a real challenge. Relationships are hard. Work is hard. Making big decisions is hard. Engaging in a world that has a skewed definition of success in general is hard. Feeling truly connected socially in a world that is increasingly oriented toward devices & media is leaving us overwhelmed, anxious, and malnourished. Naming these stressors is important if we are to see clearly how distracted we are from tending to our inner life.
In an excellent episode of On Being with Krista Tippett there is a heartwarming discussion about what it takes to thrive. Her guest, Esther Perel, discusses her life as the granddaughter of holocaust survivors and how that led to her current work as a couples therapist. In the episode she talks about asking her clients what they do for themselves that makes them feel most alive.
I have been asking myself that question routinely since listening to that episode and I encourage you to ask it of yourself. What do you do for yourself that makes you feel most alive?
For me, I feel most alive when I take a long walk by the water, make time to read or write, spend quality time with my family, and listen to or play music. In stark contrast, I feel less alive when I spend my time binge-watching TV (no matter how good of a show it is), scrolling social media, or eating an entire bag of cookies. I like doing all those things, but they don’t leave me feeling more alive.
In Chinese medicine, each organ system has a spiritual/emotional function. From this perspective, what enlivens us nourishes our hearts. When the heart-spirit is well nourished, we feel calmly excited, engaged and passionate about our lives. When our heart-spirit is lacking proper nourishment we feel depressed, tired, anxious, or manic. If you feel this way, you may need a walk in the woods, to get caught up on sleep, to spend quality time with friends, or to eat a nourishing meal in peace & quiet.
If you are struggling to find a way to get out of old patterns that keep you from feeling truly alive, please reach out for help to someone who cares about you, a good counselor or me.